Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Shit or Get off the Pot

I have to get this out somewhere and I imagine there would be a lot of upset or angry people if I put it where I want to. I belong to quite a few groups on Facebook that are related to mental illness. I suffer from OCD, anxiety, agoraphobia, and some depression.

That being said, I might make excuses for myself, but bottom line...I know what I have to do to get better. There's no denying that it's painful and excrutiatingly difficult to face your demons, but essentially that's the only way to defeat them - especially when it comes to OCD. When you deal with obsessive compulsive disorder literally the way to overcome it is to do the opposite of what it's telling you.

I'm sure that I have chemical imbalances and hormonal issues that either cause or contribute to my mental illnesses, but I still make a choice every day to give in to the compulsions. I do what it takes to avoid the anxiety that facing my obsessions would cause. I fight my battles without medication at this time, but still I choose to wash my hands or re-trace my steps.

I give in.

I let OCD win.

But I still know what it takes to beat it.

The point of the post is that there are many people in various groups that constantly post, seek reassurance, ask the same questions over and over, and...


You would think that I'd be more sensitive. I guess to a point I try to be. I offer them suggestions, advice, things they could try to beat their OCD, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, whatever. And so do many other people. And yet there they are the very next day, multiple times, asking the same shit yet again.


What's the point of being in a support group if you have no intention of taking the advice given? Yes, it's great to be part of a group and feel less alone, but is that enough? I joined the groups for the purpose of recovery. I've taken little steps forward and giant leaps back. And yes, I understand that everybody is at a different point on their recovery road, but fuck. Come on! At some point you have to realize you're causing at least part of your own situation and it's up to you to change it.

Shit or get off the pot, right?

And of course there are always the same people that coddle and hand hold, bark at anybody that tries to remotely call them out, and generally impede progress. Hand holding is fine, I'm all for reassurance, especially in the midst of panic. But excessive reassurance is horrible in the long run, especially for people that suffer from OCD. The whole point is to learn to live with the uncertainty, the doubt. How can you do that when people in support groups are constantly reassuring you?

Somewhere along the line I must have grabbed onto the idea that mental illness supercedes everything else and I'm being reminded daily that is incredibly false. People with OCD or anxiety or whatever can still be assholes, whiners, or any number of things that generally piss me off.

Maybe I'm insensitive?

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